I am looking to start a new project in telling our Heroes’ stories. What will this look like?
First, I would like to tell the story of our heroes – how they lived, how they died and what this has done to the people most important in their lives. The manner of death is required as part of this, but the act itself is not the purpose, but more the starting place to tell their story. KIA, PTSD, killed on base in a murder or accident, or at home on leave – whatever the cause of death, it’s more about their life and the impact that was made.
What is it that I am planning to do? With Hico’s Hero, I make pins for the mothers of this nation's heroes. I have been doing this since my son was KIA 11-13-09. Meeting with Gold Star moms online or in person with TAPS, we talk about our children and how greatly they are missed. We tell their stories, from childhood antics to the person they became. We talk of how profoundly life has changed because of their deaths. We are all brought together by one single decision that they made. They joined the Armed Forces of the United States of America; this act is what has brought us to this very place, because we now stand with an empty, grieving heart.
What I am attempting to do is not only tell their story but also the story of those left behind. The lives that are forever changed and their impact. Meaning, what has happened with the impact of “their” deaths. How do the people that are impacted deal with it? I know in my own case, I started Hico’s Hero to deal with my son's death. Because of his death being KIA, his death greatly impacted his Marine brothers, and I stood in the gap for them and offered a healing hand to help them with this loss. This turned into a yearly reunion in which these amazing young men came to my home and shared time with me in which I was allowed to hear stories of his time in Afghanistan, and they heard stories of his childhood, in which we began to understand him as the complete person he had become and just how profoundly his death was felt not only by myself. It wasn’t just my son that was killed but they lost a friend.
What did that loss due to their hearts? Just how did this impact the future, how did life change for you? For other family members? For their friends? For their brothers and sisters in the armed forces? All the same questions come into play with PTSD , murder, accidents – my heart is so broken when I read these stories. So much more emphasis needs to be placed on life, what war did to their hearts and minds, how was this the only way out? How do those who knew and loved them deal with this last decision? How have their lives changed? Do they feel responsible? Are their minds flooded with the endless rewind of that last conversation? Things they wished they said, or did, that one thing that they feel would have changed the outcome? I am a firm believer that all things happen in GOD’s timing; even in the worst thing there can be a positive outcome that brings comfort and healing. Out of my son's death came Hico’s Hero that blesses other mothers, and the yearly reunion that helps heal my marine sons. These are the ideas that I bring to the table, how can our own heroes' deaths become a blessing to others. Would you want me to tell your story?